How to Explore Online Dating Perfectly

How to Explore Online Dating
By Jennifer Talley, eHow Contributor , last updated April 16, 2012

An increasing number of couples are meeting online. A recent study, reported in Science Daily, found that in 2008 and 2009, 21 percent of heterosexual couples and 61 percent of same-sex couples met online. There is an abundance of dating sites and millions of profiles to choose from. If you are new to the world of online dating, it can seem overwhelming, but a few tips might make it easier to get started.


Instructions

        1
        Choose an online dating service. There are many choices, from the general pay sites like Match and eHarmony, to those that cater to specific interests. Decide if you want to invest some cash (usually a monthly fee between $20 and $60) or stick with a free site such as OkCupid or PlentyOfFish. You might not know it but you probably have friends with dating profiles online, so ask for recommendations. Essence magazine recommends signing up for only one site if you're new to online dating, and giving that one your full attention.

        2

        Choose a user name. Pick something based on your real name, a hobby or where you live. Make it interesting and not too suggestive. People are more likely to respond to a name that tells them something about your personality.

        3

        Create your profile. Depending on the dating site you choose, this could mean filling in a few vital statistics or answering complex essay questions. Think about the type of person you want to meet. Avoid cliches, says Essence magazine, and be specific about your interests. If you get stuck, some sites have sample profiles and helpful suggestions. You also can read other profiles to get ideas.

        4

        Add photos. Choose recent photos of yourself, taken within the past six months. OkCupid compared profile pictures with number of responses and found that women who posted pictures of themselves smiling into the camera or giving the lens a flirty look got more responses than those who posted pictures without eye contact. For men it's the opposite. They were more likely to get responses when they posted a slightly mysterious picture of themselves looking away from the camera.

        5

        Tell the truth. An MSNBC study reported in Online Dating magazine suggests that up to one-third of people using online dating services hide the fact that they are married. People also commonly lie about height, weight and income. Watch out for anyone who seems excessively secretive or difficult to get in touch with, or posts only blurry or non-identifying photos.

        6

        Make contact. Once your profile is online, don't wait around for Mr. or Ms. Right to find you. Explore the site and send messages to people who pique your interest. Online Dating magazine suggests raising your response rate by reading the profile in depth before you contact someone and focus that initial message on what interested you about him. Ask questions. Don't talk too much about yourself. If the person is interested you'll get questions in return.

        7

        Try again if a date doesn't work out. A PCWorld article says that typically, members are active on an online dating site for less than three months, but persistence pays off. Online Dating magazine studies show that on average, men get responses to their messages between five and 10 percent of the time. This might appear to be a low success rate, but it's a numbers game. Men outnumber women on online dating sites and they initiate more of the contact. Men are more likely to get responses when they make their initial messages unique in some way. Women generally are more likely than men to get a response to an initial contact.


Tips & Warnings

•     Exchange two or three messages before agreeing to meet someone in person.
•     Make the first meeting casual, Meet up for coffee or cocktails. The big first date should come later.
•     You don't have to respond to every message, but it's only polite to let someone know if you're not interested after a few exchanges.
•     People do lie online. If your instinct tells you something's wrong, it probably is.
•     Don't give out too much personal information too soon.
•     Always conduct the first few face-to-face dates in a public places. Let a few friends know where you are going to be.

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